Prayer for the Week

O God, whose blessed Son came into the world that he might destroy the works of the devil and make us children of God and heirs of eternal life: Grant that, having this hope, I may purify myself as he is pure; that, when he comes again with power and great glory, I may be made like him in his eternal and glorious kingdom; where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.†

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wanted - Choir Members

POSITIONS OPEN:  In soprano, alto, tenor, and bass sections. No other need apply.

PHYSICAL QUALIFICATIONS:  Must be able to carry light musical notes part way across church. Must have good vision to see the director 10 feet away.

EXPERIENCE: No applications accepted from persons who have not sung in the tub or shower at some time.

BEGINNING WAGES: Guaranteed satisfaction and joy in the service of the Lord.

ADVANCEMENT OPPORTUNITY: Members who demonstrate unusual ability/courage might sing a solo sometime.

FRINGE BENEFITS:  Social Security - We promise you the security of fellowship with other fine members.


RETIREMENT:  After your voice reaches the place where it can hit two notes at once, you may sit in the congregation and listen to others use their God given talents.

No comments:

Post a Comment